Homosexuality is to blame for abuse scandal! Oh, it all makes sense now!

There are some things that really bring out the urge to kill.

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican’s secretary of state, effectively the deputy to Pope Ratzo, is one of them.

It’s homosexuality, not celibacy, that is at the centre of the huge scandal over pervy priests, you see. Once again, it’s the gays who are to blame, says this twat in a frock who lives among men and who, if he’s stuck to his vows, has no practical knowledge of natural love, though, like his fellows, would no doubt be eager to tell us what is unnatural love.

“Many psychologists and psychiatrists have shown that there is no link between celibacy and paedophilia but many others have shown, I have recently been told [!], that there is a relationship between homosexuality and paedophilia,” he told journalists during a press conference in Chile, effectively inciting homophobes there to form lynch mobs.

And what of the paedophilia that has men raping girls, Cardinal? Is that homosexual, too, you raving nutcase?

Even if he were right, what has that got to do with the price of eggs? Priests – Catholic priests – raped and otherwise abused kids. The scandal isn’t about C of E priests (although there has no doubt been some hanky-panky there, too). It isn’t about Hindus or Buddhists. It isn’t about Jeddi Knights or New Agers or Zoroastrians. It’s about the Roman Catholic Church. End of story.

I know it’s very unlikely that a successful arrest of Ratzo will be made – as Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens hope – when he visits the UK in September, but I sincerely hope that and the other healthily bad publicity the old sod and his cardinals and priests have had will continue to cascade on the Vatican like a thousand cartloads of horseshit – once a second.

What an utter waste of space that place is, filled as it is with monsters in frocks and reeking with their evil!

Yes. OK. I’m annoyed. I’ve shouted a bit. I’ll calm down. I’ll shut up now.