Let us pray . . .

Dear Lord in Heaven, look down, we beseech Thee, upon Thy humble and devoted servants and lend Thy divine Ear to our humble entreaty.

As Thou knowest, oh Lord, vile and evil poofters do wish to do filthy and abominable things in Thy House. They do seek to insult Thee and take Thy Holy Name in vain by getting “married” in sanctified premises.

Gentle Jesus in Heaven, loving, meek and mild, show now Thine everlasting mercy, benevolence and kindness by killing these spawn of Satan before they soil Thy House with their filth.

Thou knowest in Thy divine knowingness, oh Lord, that the House of Lords in Thy chosen country of the United Kingdom are today expected to execute their third reading of a Bill that seeketh to make legal this repugnant, foul, sickening, disgusting, gross, repulsive and hideous practice whereby abhorrent poofters do venture to visit their vile affections upon Thy holy places – a measure that Their Lordships have already approved in an earlier hearing.

Thou knowest also, sweet Lord and Eternal Father, that the Bill will then pass to the lower house, the House of Commons, for consideration of the amendments appended thereto by the House of Lords.

Verily, we at Christian Concern for Our Nation, though we be mocked and despisèd, do say unto Thee, oh Lord, please show thine eternal love by putting the boot in on these malevolent and sinful degenerates, who are not fit to lick the scrotum of Thy pet hamster. Most merciful and heavenly Father, we entreat Thee to confound their cursèd partnerships; gob on their wedding bouquets; crap on their shiny suits and buttonholes.

Thine everlasting, gentle, kind and most merciful Name be praised! Amen.