Let’s hear it for the animals!

Where is the animal-rights lobby when you need it?

It’s sure needed at the moment, because there’s a huge rise in the popularity of, and therefore the demand for, barbarically slaughtered food, which some deluded people seem to think they have to eat because a sky fairy told them to.

Many animal-rights activists – those, anyway, who object to our eating animals, no matter how humanely they’re slaughtered, as opposed objecting to testing cosmetics on animals, which is the real evil – are a tad touchy-feely in other respects too.

They’re therefore more likely to tread lightly with their convictions on ritual slaughter if the alternative is to upset religionists, particularly those of a religion practised chiefly by members of other ethnic groups.

So, when I see marches of animal-rights protestors objecting to halal and kosher slaughter, I’ll begin to eat the above words, which will first be humanely slaughtered, of course.