Barmy swami

Psst! Wanna be cured of being a poofter? Easy-peasy. Just get into the lotus position, take some deep breaths, let them out slowly (remember to breathe in again after each exhalation, though, or you might go blue in the face).

Hey presto! Before you can say Bhagavad Gita, you’re straight.

Well, that’s what this barmpot thinks who’s featured in a Pink News story I read yesterday.

Swami Baba Ramdev (pictured), a yoga guru, has filed a challenge to a Delhi High Court judgment from earlier this week that said homosexuality should be decriminalised.

He filed the challenge saying homosexuality was a “disease” and could be cured by yoga.

According to the Indian Express, he said: “It can be treated like any other congenital defect. Such tendencies can be treated by yoga, pranayama (breathing exercises) and other meditation techniques.”

So now you know. Just like other religionists, this guy thinks a bit of body bending and breathing is a cure.

What he’s done is to give yoga a bad name. In and of itself, stripped of any required belief system, it’s good therapy, both physical and mental. No one can doubt that good breathing is important, as is body suppleness. An ability to meditate and empty the mind of “noise” must also be a good thing.

But to say it’s a “cure” for homosexuality is akin to saying it can “cure” maleness or having a palm on your hand.

Talking of which, I’ve just thought of the best way to experience the clapping of one hand. You use the one hand to slap the face of Swami Baba bloody Ramdev.